Burning Away by Kyle Cruz

I took another long inhale of my cigarette as I watched the sky move lazily forward. This is my favorite part of the day as I could just relax and count all the regrets in my life. Slowly exhaling the smoke out of my mouth, I remember my first regret. It was during elementary school when I hung out with the wrong crowd. I can still remember the face of this one kid we used to pick on. By the end of the day he would be in tears as he made his way home. Sad part is I enjoyed it. I got so caught up having fun being in a group that I didn't take a second thought to what I was doing. Shortly after the kid left the group split: it's as if we only came together to bully him. I swear I would've bitch slapped myself silly if I had the power to go back in time, but now it's just a regret I hold. Taking another long inhale I remember all the images of those days and let it out in one single blow. The smoke rises and goes high into the sky leaving me forever. Then I take my wallet out and sigh. A picture of my lover is on the left with credit cards way in debt to the right.

"Will you marry me?" Those words were stuttered when I said them to her. I thought with her by my side everything would work out just fine. A happily ever after moment, but that just showed how ignorant I was at the time. Trouble befell us as we argued over the smallest things and then came the money problems. I was content with our lives, but she wasn't. She always nagged for a better house, better car, and all of the above. It came to no surprise when I woke up one morning and she was gone. That house was so quiet that day that I could even hear my own heartbeat. It pounded as I looked throughout the house; she had left not a single trace of her existence. That was the only time I ever really felt alone in the world.

"Sorry this number is out of service." I pitifully look at my cell with her old number on it. Oh how I long to hear her voice again. Closing the cell phone and grasping it tightly, I throw it as far as I can. Watching physics at work, it only takes a matter of seconds to go splat on the floor. I wonder how that would feel, to just go splat. I take my cigarette and throw to the floor. With my right foot I crush it and laugh. I feel as the regrets singe out of me as the cigarette makes that noise when it goes out.

"Alright let's do this." I said to myself and look over the edge of the roof. Thousands of people below look up at me in shock and terror. They should be as the building roof I'm on is on fire. I see the flames below reach up at me, like thousand of little hands slowly making its way to devour me. The options at hands were to die from a slow painful burn or to have a so called instant death with a huge leap off the floor. How would you decide?