I don't know if I should be frightened of death lurking at my every move.
I used to have hope, now it seems too far away. Like the sun I can't see with my bandaged eyes.
I used to have hope, now it seems too far away. Like the sun I can't see with my bandaged eyes.
My only salvation and escape is my past, or are they just dreams? Has this always been my life? I always think of the people in my head…their features…their voices. It keeps me longing…thirsty for that life that seems far away.
Small tremors make my breath quicken; it feels like my body senses him
God please…I beg of you…don't let him be back!! What have I done?? Please God don't let him...
The slight click of the lock being undone is all the warning I get of someone coming, just seconds before the door slams open. Crashing against the opposite side of the room like a gun shot in the silent darkness.
"Hello sweetie, how have you been?" Says the voice that makes my body break out in a cold sweat.
My body trembles uncontrollably, practically knocking me to the floor. I feel his rough hands on my skin, like having sand paper caressing me. His hot breath like sulfur whispering dark desires in to my ears, and as much as I try to get up and out of his reach I can't. My hands still lay bound and useless, numb from the blood flow being cut off by the tight rotting ropes that bind my hands behind my back.
I let my mind wonder… off to those dreams that are my salvation, anything is better than this agonizing present-----
****************************
Pointlessly trying to get the tall girls' attention. The one with the reddest curls I have ever seen, surrounding her head like a ring of fire. I lamely yell across the crowded hall "Sarah...hey Sarah!"
Turn!! Turn already! I hate yelling at you like a idiot.
Sarah turns, finally hearing me through the jumble of exited voices in the air. "Hey cutie, watz up?" She says analyzing me from head to toe.
Should I tell her? Maybe she'll just write me off as clinically insane
She clicks her tongue In the back of her pearly white teeth breaking my jumble of thoughts. "Well?" she says impatiently "Are you going to just stare at me, or are you going to tell me what the hell is wrong with you!?"
Well…here it goes…
"Look hear me out first okay…this is hard for me already telling you, so just listen. Then when I'm done telling you, you can ask what ever kay?" She nods her head in agreement, curiosity flashing through her amber eyes.
"I keep getting these weird phone calls with a blocked ID… and I swear, that every time I answer I hear heavy breathing before the call ends" I say, pausing for an instant to see if she's still with me.
"This started happening to me a month ago, but ever since I stopped answering the calls…I…I feel like….am being watched"
Before blowing up a bubble, doubt and concern writes itself all over her face. I stand there, still as a stone waiting for a response. Anything really that will clear my worries.
No such luck.
"Well…that was…err…interesting" She says with a sly grin.
Oh great
A sigh escapes my chapped lips "I thought YOU of all people would understand! And all you can say is, that's interesting??!!! Am freaking out here!!" I yell in the now empty hallway.
Ah fuck great!! am now late for fourth period
"No hun, its not …that…I just think you read too much into…stuff" Am at a loss for words. Finally after glaring at her for what seemed several minutes "Sarah you're my best friend". I abruptly break off the sentence on the verge of tears.
"Jennie, okay I do believe you …but that's creepy. Are you sure it's not a hottie you gave your number to? And he's just too nervous to speak?"
"NO!"
"Fine" Her voice comes muffled over my shoulder, as she hugs me tightly.
****************************
When he's done he dresses me back. Yet he never unties my wrist. There are times were the blind fold slips from my eyes…when he's doing me. But I rather close them, than to look at his red panting face. Small glimpses add up to a small room, with no decorations besides the ash gray paint on the walls. The only furniture is a wooden chair and a decaying urine stained mattress over a concrete floor.
Why do I just lay here? Like a ragged doll? Easy, I've learned the hard way. It's not my place to talk or make any kinds of sound unless he asks of them.
****************************
"Let me go! Please…I won't say anything!"
Laughter erupts from the 6 foot tall man. A scar runs from the right side of his face like a check mark ending at the right corner of his thin lips. He looks like he might be in his mid forties, with acne scars covering most of his face. The white muscle shirt shows off his bulky muscles.
"Please just let me go!!" I shout and scream at the man standing just at arms' length away from me. Tears smear my eyeliner "Please" I whisper. Before I knew it, something blurry is coming straight towards my face. His strong fist, as he punches me on my right. The impact rattles my brain, knocking me out cold…
A burning feeling wakes me up. That sensation runs up and down my spine, I open my eyes horrified to find… nothing. Everything is black. I scream, the pain is unbearable choking on the smell of burning skin MY skin.
The man says lying on top off me as I lay face down on something that smells like urine "Shut up you little bitch or ill burn the shit out of that pretty face of yours!!" He says through clamped teeth, practically biting my ear lobe off. I set my jaw tight; swallowing back my own whimpers and puke. I try to not make a single sound, holding my breath for my dear life. My lungs as though they might burst, screech for air.
Why won't he just kill me this very second? Anything but this.
****************************
I helplessly lay there, on the urine stained mattress. He always enjoys washing me and cleaning me up. Still he won't untie my roped wrist. I hear him in the bathroom that is on the opposite side of the mattress. He curses out loud as he trips over his clumsy feet.
I hope you fall and crack your skull open
I hope you fall and crack your skull open
I hear the water pour into the tub, anxious and hungry for its victim…me. I just lie there, waiting for the coldness of the water to numb me to the core. He stands me up, pushing me forward. My feet stumble against one another, uncertainty making me clumsy. His hands grab my hair, pulling, practically yanking them from my scalp.
Fear seeps, like a dry ball in my throat. Making breathing nearly impossible. He brutally sits me down on the bathrooms' cold tile floor. With his rough and callused hands, he lifts my shirt; pulling it over my head. His fingers linger, his hand tracing my bras outline…cupping my breast.
Now… lying on the tile floor, he unzips my dirty ragged jeans. Lifting my hips from the floor he pulls them down, underwear and all. I feel him. Staring, cherishing the view. He's not touching me…yet
Heavy breathing and rasping sounds come from his direction. Then after a few gut churning seconds, his ashen fingers begin to slowly trace my body.
I'd wish your thing would fall off and your hands burned to ashes!
His hands start to travel from my bare ankles…sliding barely touching my skin. I feel myself get goose bumps, as hot tears build up from the corner of my closed eyes.
Am so tired of this…of him
How much longer is he going to keep me? Dios give me strength
A sigh escapes his lips, announcing his release. "You're all mine…say you love me!" he demands grabbing my jaw and squeezing it painfully.
A sigh escapes his lips, announcing his release. "You're all mine…say you love me!" he demands grabbing my jaw and squeezing it painfully.
"I…I… I love….love you" I manage to choke out. My voice trembling, full of fear. For a second I didn't recognize it, that weak voice was mine. I no longer sounded alive, full of aspirations and hope. Instead I sounded dead, and defeated.
I allowed myself to dream, now that I was in the bathtub; with the cold water seeping through my every pore.
****************************
Buzz…buzz, vibrated my cell phone through the back pocket of my jeans. "Hello?" annoyance building up. "Jeff? Hello? Counting in my head
1…2…3
I hang up. Checking the calls, I notice that the call I just received was a blocked number. I shove the phone back in my pocket. I was about to leave my room when once again my cell phone began to vibrate.
Unknown
That's what the screen displayed. "I swear Jeff; stop fucking with me it's not funny anymore!"
"…Am not Jeff" says a mans voice
"Though I wished id be fucking with you" he says bursting into a laugh
I hang up instantly, my hands shaking as I throw the phone on my undone bed. I sit on a pile of dirty clothes that's lying on the foot of it. I stay there bewildered, trying to figure out what's going on. Sarah's words flood back to my mind
"Are you sure it's not a hottie you gave your number to? And he's just too nervous to speak?"
-Jeff probably told his older brother to make that call…yeah that's it…
I tell myself trying to suppress the feeling of dread.
Yeah…that's what happened. I mean there wouldn't be a psycho stalking me…wanting to kill me… SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!!
… Am seriously not helping myself…
After feeling stupid for getting scared, I tried to make a lame attempt to laugh it off. But it came out like a wimping sound instead. I pushed myself off the floor; walking out the door I notice my curtain flowing. Like as though the window was open.
It can't be open; mom always closes everything before leaving.
Just as I was about to go back and check, my stomach started grumbling
Ha silly me…I forgot I was hungry....great now am starving and there's probably nothing to eat like always. Sigh
The inside of the house is covered in shadows; it gives it that eerie black and white feel to it. Walking in the kitchen, to my far right the refrigerator begins to hum. I notice my mom's handwriting in the crappy dry erase board.
Hey Honey, I have a patient to see. Don't wait up for me, and ill see you in the morning. J
p.s. I love you
p.p.s. I left some left over's' from last nights dinner in the oven.
Psht
Like I want to eat meat loaf again
Picking up the black cordless house phone from the cherry kitchen table I decide to dial Dominos. "Dominos, this is Mark what your name?" Spoke a young man, with a voice that broke at certain intervals.
"Jennie"
"Okay Jennie what would your order be?"
"A large pepperoni pizza"
"That would be $16.75 and it will be ready in fifteen minutes"
"Kay thanks" I say hanging up.
A thump, thump sound makes me jump in place.
"Hello….mom?" WTF I though I was alone...
Thump….thump…thump
Sounded once again upstairs, my heart beat begins to race. I hear my heart pumping blood to my brain so fast that it sounded like the beat of a wall clock. I risk a peek up the stair hallway leading to the second floor. Now my heart is beating frantically turning my insides to ice. "Mom?"-Nothing, I wait there at the bottom of the stairs waiting for her to be Oh honey the appointment got canceled. I didn't even hear that you were here.
But instead I get at thump…thump…BANG! It was as though the bang was my cue. I ran to the kitchen closet and got the wooden broom. Then as I tried to control my heartbeat and my breathing, I tried to quietly creep up the stairs. Straining my vision to see even the faintest movement in the shadows.
"Meow!!" Screeches a cat as it launches itself at my head causing me to loose my balance. I reach out with my hands trying to regain it. Somehow the broom got stuck in between my legs making me fall backwards down seven steps.
"OWWW" My head hit the floor pretty hard, making my ears ring. I slowly got up trying to loose the feeling of vertigo.
How did a cat get inside the house? I turn around, and notice the cat staring at me with its tail slightly swaying, and then it started licking its front paw. The cat was all black with piercing green eyes. Its ears twitching constantly, hearing something I couldn't.
I gently pick up the cat; it tries to swipe me with one of its paws. I was about to kick it out of the house when I noticed its collar, slightly glowing in the shadowed house.
With the tips of my fingers, I inch the name tag at an angle, enough to be able to look at the cats' owners address.
Am still here…watching you
The cat leaps from my grasp eager to get away. While I stand there stunned to the core with those words etched in my brain.
1 comments:
I really love this piece. How you compared somethings expressed greatly on how chilling this scene is.
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