The Whaler: A Biased View on Contemporary Music and the Looming Threat of the Discordant-Industrial Complex by Mario Ramirez

What is up with music nowadays? I thought art evolved. Being a 90's baby, having money, cars, hoes, and dough dominate the musical scenario (a.k.a the radio at the time in my circumstance) for the majority of my childhood was not surprising. I will not lie and say that it wasn't bumping, nor was it bad, only a tad self-centered and as Tsutomu well put, "lacking class". Due to my age, immaturity (innocence to some), and social standing, the impressions of wealth, fame, and all others sins correlated to the aforementioned simply didn't slap to my G-rated ears. In fact, that message turned me off and the toons played zealously on the radio were lackluster compared to the face-melting solos and shredding riffs characteristic of the 70's-80's hair metal bands and even more so before that; vinyl odes firing up and down my spinal nodes were the final codes barcoded on my musical "label." Not to say that was all I listened to, I also found harmony in cumbias, synths through all genres, west coast gangster rap and of course, blink-182 (I hopped on Cheshire Cat with M&M's). Like the Mac named Dre, I was Too Hard for the F****** Radio and always turned the silver knobs on my pops Alpine down when my CDs weren't at hand; I relished at the notion of perambulating across the sociocultural gaps reinforced by the number of years that each one of us spend on Earth. Subsequently, I grew up with an eclectic taste in music, and whatever sounded good to my ears was all hood for a few years.

Acquiring new musical tastes over the course of my life, I listened to just about anything-hip-POP only tolerable with a girl shaking her monkey all up on my dick (ain't none puns intended son). I was still that average teenage kid with "that loud rap music" to the neighbors despite being able to name every Led Zeppelin album. Whatever. Junior year came along and shit, that guerilla radio sound (thank you Cesar and +), along with Mrs. Osickas' pedagogic powerhouse of prose, poetry, and literary symbolism were catalyzing factors for me at the time. Revolutionary. That's just about the only adjective I could find to describe the knowledge and information I was being assaulted with through sound, paper and pen. I shifted my political orientation, learned that objects (and actions and ideas!) without intrinsic value would eventually crumble to the dust it is fashioned of, and so much more. If any of you have ever listened to a good song, which I'm sure at least 75% of you have, know exactly what I mean. Now that I'm done beating around the bush and showing that I am somewhat musically inclined, let me get to the juice of this bad boy...
Every time I am in Justin's car we listen to the radio because someone stole his iPod and mine having mysteriously disappeared didn't help either. They play okay stuff I thought. Yet after flipping through the four preset buttons, I heard the Hotel song three times, Ice Cream Paint Job four times (the remix only twice mind you), the Jay Z song (I believe) with the annoying wailing bitch in the background TOO many times, and every single similar Weezy/Drake collabo known to man at least 8 times. I don't mean to be rude or disrespect any of these respectable art-sleazts, but hey, I get it. I understand you love to fuck your bitches and hit your switches. I also understand that when you signed the dotted line, all your originalities were left to fuck it and that the four fifteens will rattle your bucket from Europe (European Idiots) to Nantucket. And speaking of whaling (Nantucket was a center of the whaling industry), I understand that every chorus will feature a bitch or a dude drugged up on auto-tune wailing about failing, mailing, or detailing their car, dough, or girl, almost as if whaling a whale for all 'tis worth. Your attempts at music are unavailing, please shift up the focus; I'm in a recession and "it ain't all about economy so the fact that all these wack mc's are making g's don't bother me". I have seen your videos and despite having all the eye candy in the world, I'd rather have my stomach whirled up by a makeup less girl. The power -well it's tempting, but the fact that you abuse it to wield more ice or reach impossible highs is ridiculous. Fishing out the rubber, oil and fat of these strange discordant toons isn't enough. The Discordant-Industrial complex capitalizes on our wanton need for music; radio stations with low standards, negative connotations with deplorable sexual innuendo as well as illustrating extremely derogoratry terminology towards several social characterisitics, and support of inebriating substances and illicit activities. The musical composition itself is like a Deggrasi episode or high school all over again but on crack and in real life. Ah bright light anyone? Reread the bold, run-on sentence (and accompanying remark) before the last and find the correlation-that such music has transcended it's social renderings and is being not only accepted but applied by the youth of today in a conforming manner. No wonder the pregnancy and dropout rates are escalating. I s'pose it all has to do with other crazy teenage nonsense but i'm over that since I'm 18 (*nudge nudge, wink wink*).
"So druuungh i feslz masefl swwurrrin ma wurs."
*Shit slap though.
I suppose hyphy shit does fall under this category. However, hyphy artists, in my opinion derive their inspiration from their environment and keep it real. Extremely watered down versions of Tupac? No, just some people who want to be on the block with their kinfolk trying to have a good time. All in good fun, and that's what music is right? Fun.
I don't know where I'm going with all this, but that's just how I see music lately. Fuck the radio because I won't ever learn from it, and you're right, maybe it could make me dance, but that tweeter static still doesn't stand a chance against Illmatic. And now my children, this is only the intro to the song I'm working on so stay TOONED.

"Honestly, my number one policy is quality
never sell my soul is my philosophy
High velocity, lyrics like Nastradamus make a prophecy
I told you cats a long time a go it ain't no stoppin' me
I bomb your set that's not a threat its a promise
Got everybody ridin' on my wagon like the Amish
But still I never claim to be a big rap star
So no matter who you are its still Allahu Akhbar
Better believe this, most rappers can't achieve this
I'm bad to the bone but x-rays can't even see this
See I'm strategic I letcha money talk bullshit walk
While I keep it rollin' like parapalegics
Whoever's on the microphone let it be known
You in danger, I got next(necks) like the Boston Strangler
You ain't never heard an emcee speak like this
And Rodney King ain't never felt a beat like this."