Endless Fight by Edlyn Rodriguez

Endless Fight
I talk and talk and sometimes listen,
Although I don't know what I'm saying.
All I know is that it's hurting,
And that it's not working,
So I have to let it out,
Before I go, but I will not show,
The pain of when it hurts.
Do you ever hear what I say?
When I don't say a word,
Yet my expressions are being heard.
Can you hear them?
Tell me can you feel them?
Doesn't it hurt?
Answer me, because I cant do it for myself.
All because it hurts when you don't listen,
And my feelings are being held.
I don't know what I just said,
But it's scary to think of it before I go to bed.
'cause it gets cold, oh so cold,
And my feelings are bold,
yet I'm scared to even read this,
So I keep it all in, until its gets old.
Just because it hurts.
I know these feelings will forever remain,
Until someone takes this pain.
I'm breathing, but it's more in vain.
Sometimes I even wonder if I can still hang,
Or maybe be hung by a pink rope,
And I'll naked with not even a robe.
Maybe if you're lucky you can see my pain,
Now that I'm not covering it with the superficial things.
Once again, it hurts so bad,
when you don't know what I'm saying,
When I'm saying what I'm saying.
And another time you just sit there as I'm wailing.
You swear you're understanding,
But you don't so I'm gone,
Until I find what I've been missing all along.
The questions come back.
Can you hear me?
Can you feel me?
When you see me sitting,
All alone crying.
Still my expressions are hiding,
And my heart is broken but it's still pounding.
From the memories that aren't so nice,
Like the abuse I went through in the past,
And how I can't get passed it.
Like the drug addiction in my veins,
It all goes back to me feeling this pain.
All alone thinking, "Will I ever be sane?"
Maybe my meds aren't hitting me the same.
All I do is keep searching for my sanity,
Or someone who understands me.
No joke! I hear the people laughing,
When they see the man stalking me.
And I run,
"No don't run!"
And I hide,
"Where will you hide?"
I tell them to shut up and suddenly…
I catch myself.
I was always in the shelf.
Running from my expressions,
Hiding from the deception,
Feeling the everlasting pain,
Once again.
I wonder to myself, maybe it's here to stay.
" You can't let us go!" it's the people again,
In my head questioning my sanity,
Laughing at this misunderstanding.
My name is Gia and you will never comprehend
 that I've been through a lot, and it all comes back to haunt me again.
As I stand in the rain,
I wish that I never ever have to feel this pain.
So long! Goodbye and goodnight,
Because tonight is the end of what is called
An Endless Fight!