Love Rollercoaster by Monique Pascual

Basically it worries me. How am I supposed to know what we have will be there forever? We actually don't. Something can always go wrong. Are we supposed to believe them when they say they ready do want to be here forever! Or is it just another teen relationship everyone thinks it is and eventually going to have to grow apart from each other? You never actually know until it happens. I know I'm still young but I've never cared about a guy so much before. I may not show it all the time. But if he just had any clue what goes on inside me. What sucks is I have no idea if he has different plans himself or if he really feels his feelings are always going to be there. I mean I haven't even reached college; I want to be successful in everything I do but with him included in it. He's proven to me that he's definitely not like other guys. I hope he keeps it that way. Does he even want to take in how I feel? Or do I just nag him about it and doesn't want to hear it anymore. I just need the truth. You can't tell somebody you want to be with them forever and let them know there is bound to be a break up between now and forever and let them know once you take a break or break up its done for good. You can't play games when it comes to love, unless you don't mean it. Maybe I am just a silly girl thinking there will be a happy ever after that takes place in every Disney movie. I don't want to get hurt by another person I've grown close to, especially him.             Everytime it becomes good it be it becomes bad again. His fault? My fault? I don't know. Here is my perfect guy 1.      Doesn't want to hit and quit it 2.      Trust/faithful 3.      Doesn't care about not messing around 4.      There for me 5.      Stands up for me 6.      Actually cares 7.      Someone that just wants to be loved 8.      I can tell all my secrets to 9.      I can be comfortable with 10.  They have to be able to handle me Okay so my boyfriend for sure has some of those. There's so much more that you want in a boyfriend right? But I learned you can't expect them to be perfect. It's not a fairytale you see in twilight which is ever girl is dream, but its reality. So I guess I can't get mad at him for every little thing. I've become more protective over him. Honestly I'm scared over every little thing that I might end up getting hurt. I don't want him making a mistake. You'd think after a year and four months I wouldn't have to worry about that but oh there is. Now a day you can't trust anyone. Honestly if I were him I wouldn't trust guys around me either. I want to be able to trust him, but what if he's hiding it? Gah! I got to stop getting mad at him. He's committed to stop and he's been doing pretty well, now it's my turn. See how much this guy affects me?!