Closure by Rachel Cayabyab Cabugao

You smile in my face, opening your mouth, speaking words you don't mean.

And every imperfection I have is your food as you consume to make you bigger.

At least you know, you're bigger, you're bigger and better than me.

Yet, you compete with the sun as the center of the universe as you fly toward it when ultimately,

No one's looking. You're just surface grease.

There's noise in the fights, but the truth lies in the silence.

The unsaid.

The make-believe bullshit we concoct against on another

The anger we have bottled up about each other

The " I'm not going to tell you the truth to your face because it might hurt your feels so I'm not going to tell you at all until you blow up in my face when you find out" truth.

There's a lack of communication in this thing we call a friendship

I sit there, neither looking nor being anything different from you.

However, you complain to me that everything is wrong because in your head I'm what's wrong.

Look, I'm not better than you, we just think different.

But every time I look at you, I reminisce about the individual who I used to be:

The insecure little girl, whose mind has inflated to false proportions of negativity, when being you is already good enough.

Our hate for each other was built by our low self-esteem.

And no matter how many times we try to work it out, we maliciously hurt one another.

 I once was called you a good friend.

But, I refuse to stay

We are similar, but we're not the same.

I've tolerated beyond being paralyzed in your hurt.

To stop believing in your irrationality and accusations,

Your "get me into trouble" temptations.

Me trying to excuse your behavior as I once was in your place, so I should obviously be obligated to

Understand and not say anything about it.

All I can say is, now, I have the courage to tell you the honest truth.

 I can't carry your baggage not because of I believe you're inferior or that I just don't care, but

Because it wears me down as a person and I've got to put myself first.