Dear Mom by Shaquita Lopez

Dear Mom,

I'm sorry, I'm sorry for being such a skrew up. I'm sorry for not
being the daughter you deserve, I'm sorry for being a hardheaded
little fuck up. I'm sorry that you have so much faith in me, but I
don't have any in myself. I'm sorry for changing i'm sorry for being
mad for no reason, i'm sorry for days words left unsaid. I'm just
sorry i'm sorry for being an immature heartless little bitch, i'm
sorry for not looking the way I should. I'm sorry i'm a darkskinned,
nappyheaded fatass who cant seem to lose weight. I'm sorry you believe
so much in me, but I refuse to let you i'm sorry you love me so much
but I never show it. I'm sorry for saying I'll do better but never
even try I'm just sorry sorry for all the times I made you cry, but
the truth is it's not you it's me. The truth is i'm mad at myself for
making my own life so fucked up the truth is i love you I really do,
the truth is I've hurt you in so many unimaginable ways. The truth is
I hate the person I've become the person I am. The truth is I can't
take back any of the mistakes I've made but the truth is I wish I
could. The truth is I say I live without regrett, but the the truth is
I have so much regrett piled up on my shoulders that it pushes me
deeper and deeper into the ground with every step I take. The truth is
behind these smiles of confidence I feel so low about myself its like
i'm not even there. The truth is I've been hurt in unimaginable ways
that will still make you cry. The truth is I keep it to myself without
any remorse about it, the truth is i think I deserve what happened to
me for being so stupid and thinking I know everything. The truth is
you do everything for me and still I remain throwing the middle finger
up in your face. The truth is your like God's angel that he picked out
just for me. The truth is I hate myself so I take it out on you. The
truth is your the only one who shares my blood that gives a shit about
me. The truh is I feel like I have nobody the truth is I've pushed
you away when you tried to talk to me. The truth is I have nobody to
talk to the truth is I might be on the crazy side, but the truth I
know for sure is that I love you and i'm so sorry for being the worst
daughter when I have the stength and power of a carring mother.
Sent from my iPhone