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Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Heartbreak by Hayley Fields


There once was a girl named Rose Marie, she hated laughing and smiling, every time someone said a joke she would snarl and bury her head.  She claimed she was not depressed.  People would call her names and push her into lockers.  Mary had no friends or family.  She lived with her beast of a father but Mary didn't consider him family.  Family didn't beat or abuse you; family was that "full house" type of shit.  The type who hugged each other ten times a day.  Mary didn't know how to smile, really she knew the steps but she never felt the joy behind the smile.  Soon Mary became violent.  She beat all the kids' asses for looking at her funny.  She fought back when her dad beat her… She'd never win but she fought and learned.  The cutting followed, she carved anything she could think of to every non-visible part of her body, yet she still claimed she wasn't depressed.  She just loved pain.  The pain was the only thing that made her smirk.  One day she was taking a shower when her drunk father walked in.
            "Well aren't you a pretty young thing?"
She covered herself
            "Mind if I cop a feel?"
She tried to run but he was too good, even when he was wasted.
He raped her violently; he raped her everyday after that.  She got used to the raping, as weird as that sounds.  She started to grow feelings for the man who raped and beat her so violently, she loved the pain.  Soon Mary made a friend in detention.  "Hi, I'm Phil and I slang meth, I like your style" She laughed inside.  Mary spoke.  "I'm Mary, and meth has always interested me."  They started talking and eventually exchanged numbers.  This was the start of a beautiful disaster.
 
9:06pm
            Hey Mary, sup
9:10pm
            Phil?
9:11pm
            Yeah! I just recouped and you down?
9:20pm
            Sure, I need to get away.
9:20pm
            I got just the thing :)
Mary sneaks out of the window, her 'father" is exhausted from the rough sex and beating he ensued on his daughter.  As she leaves she hears a large thud and a MARY!!
She begins to run as the maniac starts chasing after her and begins to catch up.
            He steps away now and her short breaths turn into pants.  She is losing hope.  She knows when he catches her it'll be the last step she takes.  She's exhausted, having been beaten less then an hour before.  She has bruises all over her body.  Her "father" doesn't care who sees because he would just blame it on his self-mutilating daughter.  "She through herself down the stairs" – he'd say of his one story house.  He was not bright, but no one really cared and everyone believed him, even parents.  Their kids would say Mary was a freak and the parents would push the notion of neglect to the side.  His steps are now merely feet behind her.  Mary hears a honk and strains her eyes.  A blue beat up Taurus was in close pursuit.  "WTF" she thought for a second.  She then didn't care who was driving or what type of car it was for the man caught hold of her beat up black cargo pants with a dive that was far from perfect.  He got his fingers in a hole.  Mary couldn't believe this poor excuse for a man who reeked of gin caught his fingers in an insignificant hole in her pants, but he did and now she's fucked.  They are struggling on the ground, both trying to find the strength to breath.  Mary starts to crawl from the man's clutch.  He yanks her leg, dragging her across the road.  He then straddles her and starts to punch her face repeatedly.  He's drunk and tired.  Mary can't take it but she is weak and can't get away.  She closes her eyes and begins to lose consciousness.  She wakes up in a car; stranger things have happened she thought.  The car is moving though.  Mary looks to the left. 
"Good morning Mary." 
"Phil, WTF. Was I dreaming?"
 "No, I saw what happened though." 
"Oh, wait, that was nothing."
 "It's fine if you don't want to talk about it.  I'm here if you want to though." 
"Thanks!"
Silence
"If it makes you feel any better, I beat that fools ass!"
"I mean I don't know who he was or why he was…uh doing that to you…but he got his ass handed to him on a fucking silver platter – I'm sure you don't want to tell me, but who was that?"
"I guess…you could call…him my dad"
"Oh…shit…"
"Yeah…"
He pulls the car over. "So I just beat your dad's ass?  That's fuckin sick!  I mean I can bench press 140 but I beat a grown mans ass!!  He looked fucked up!  Blood gushing,  pow, pow, kick right to the stomach.  Just call me Mike fucking Tyson, I made that bitch cry."
Mary began to laugh.
"Mary, you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine now, why do you ask?"  She forced out while laughing.
"Well, if I'm not mistaken, you just laughed."
"Lol, I've been trying to beat that man up for 18 years and a junkie just did it for me…pathetic!"
"I'm going to ignore the last part of that comment but Mary can you tell me about yourself, like everything!  I'm really interested."
Silence and Mary sheds a few tears.
"It's cool, I mean we have just kinda met and all.  I'm just curious.  I'm not gonna tell the whole school or anything.  I just wanna know.  Unless you want to tell the school, I mean, I want people to know that I beat a grown mans ass… Mary, why do you keep laughing at me!?"
"Phil, take a god damn breath!" 
"I've just never had a friend or someone to trust before.  But, I guess I could fill you in."
"Wait, this is session talk!"
She told him her story.  The whole thing, no holding back, crying through some parts and laughing through others.  Mary finally knew what it meant to feel wanted and listened to.  No dumb assumptions and no judgments, just pure acceptance.  They talked for hours, and then it was Phil's turn.  There was a silence, it wasn't awkward, Phil wasn't that kind of a person.  A few minutes passed. 
"Phil, tell me about yourself."
"Uh…" It got awkward.
"What do you want to know?"
His voice was almost defensive.
"Everything, I just spilled my guts to you man!"
"Fuck, it's 7:00a.m.!  We gotta get to school!"
"Yeah, I'll walk…"
Are you sure?  We are going to the same place!"
"-No-I mean yeah I'm sure"
"Okay, see you there!"  He said in his usual chipper voice.
Mary gets out of the beat up blue car and thinks to herself all the way to school.
 "WTF was his deal?"
She walks past the old sycamore tree she used to play tag around.  The school is in her sight.
"I told him everything!  I trusted him!"
Mary gets to the school doors a half hour after the late bell rings.
"He is gonna tell everyone!"
Panic sets in as she gets closer to her locker.
"I'm gonna be sick"
She runs to the bathroom and vomits up the scraps her "father" gave her.  Mary washes her face and sees her reflection, dried blood on her face, right under her nose.  Fattest black eye her father's ever given her.  She lifts her sweatshirt, bruises and hickeys everywhere.  Three hand prints up and down her arms.
"He fucked me up bad this time" she said aloud.
Someone coughed and flushed the toilet.  Mary bolted.  She didn't notice the bell ringing for she was lost in her thoughts.  Phil runs past her in a rush from the direction of her locker. 
"I must have scared him pretty bad."  She thought.
Mary sees a note on her locker as the crowd thins out.
It reads:
Dear Mary,
I'm sorry I got all weird earlier.  I don't know, I just feel really close to you and I didn't know how to tell you my story and I wanted another excuse to talk to you again and you are really brave and I'm rambling again.  I ramble when I'm nervous but I never thought I'd do it in a letter…Okay look, I really don't want you to go home tonight.  Stay with me, I'll take the sofa!  So find me after school.
Phil
No one was around so Mary chuckled.  She found Phil later that day and told him that she couldn't stay because he'll find her and even if he doesn't she'll have to go back.  She explained the longer she avoided him, the worse the beatings will be when she gets there.  Phil understood but was a little upset.
"Look, Mary said, I'll call you tonight and we'll make plans."
Phil's face lit up ecstatic and he replied, "yes!" oh "uhem, yeah sure…I'll uh clear my schedule for ya"
Mary flashed him a smile
"Want a ride home?"
Mary said sure and they left.

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