Once upon a time there was an innovative young car mechanic. He was very good at finding new ideas for vehicle modifications. Recently, he had been experimenting with psychedelics; not only on cars, but on himself. This young mechanic's name was Tieto. Tieto was a brain surgeon on the side, but his passion was cars, so he stuck with that. He was very familiar with the neurotransmitters associated with psychedelics. His newest innovation on cars was an attempt to recreate mechanical, car compatible neurotransmitters that would be placed in the fuel injectors.
Tieto loved LSD, he had experimented with plenty of drugs over his lifetime, but there was no drug he felt like paying money for over LSD. The way Tieto's new invention worked, was the fuel injectors had a little reservoir that Tieto powered from up in the driver's seat. When he pressed a button, the reservoir would release a one milligram dose of LSD into the fuel injectors (which is a lot) which will carry the LSD to the neurotransmitter compartment and into the engine which can cause the car to go into this sort of trance. There's a second side to this though. The LSD in the car only makes the car go into a very volatile trance; however, there is a direct psychic link between the neurotransmitters in the fuel injectors and the driver's seat. The driver has to ingest at least a 300 microgram dose of LSD to "get on the same level" as the car so that they can psychically tap into the psychic wavelength of the car. Then, when the psychedelic effects manifest themselves, the driver need only press on the gas and the car will take them anywhere their imagination wanders.
Tieto finally finished loading the fuel injectors and went to bed to prepare for the next day when he would test out his invention. He had been doing a lot of acid lately, since he had plenty for test trials. This had been seriously affecting his sleep and dream cycles. That night in fact, he had a rather bizarre dream. He was cruising through time and space, watching worlds, people, sounds and extremely bright, vibrant colors pass him by in a fourth dimensional sense, from beginning to end, but all at the same time. He was watching his own life play out from birth to death. He noticed that he was cruising through time and space in the psycho mobile that he had just finished, a beautifully restored 1970 El Camino, only it looked kind of different. On the outside it was covered in a strange coat of iridescent paint that seemed to give off every color of the visible light spectrum, and more, beautiful colors he couldn't begin to name that he never knew existed. He looked to the passenger seat and saw her, the beautiful woman of his dreams. Long wavy rainbow hair with flashy red sunglasses that you could barely see her eyes through. She sat smiling at him with her absolutely dazzling, flawless white teeth. She began to speak. "Don't you have somewhere to be? Wake up. Wake up. Wake up."
"TIETO! WAKE UP!" Tieto shot awake, adrenaline furiously pumping through his body as he was startled awake by the shriek of his assistant, Domina. "Hey shit head," Domina said with a wicked grin on her face. "Don't you got some sort of experiment you gotta do? You're burning daylight." She laughed. "Ugh, did I oversleep? What time is it?" Tieto asked with a groggy, half awake expression. "Well, I'd say you were probably planning on waking up at about seven to get ready and start the experiment, so you've overslept about two hours." Domina said on the verge of hysterical laughter. "What's so funny? And why didn't my alarm go off?" Tieto asked, now a little irritated. " Well I came into your room last night because I needed a clock for this microwave I built. Domina was an inventor too, but she was very irritating. "You know Domina, if I wasn't hittin that or it wasn't real good lovin, I'd give you the boot right out of here. I really wanted to start early on my experimental trial." Tieto said hopelessly. "Ahh quit whining you little pussy. Want me to make it better and give you your morning delight?" she said on the verge of excitement. Domina loved getting that dick from Tieto. "No, you can make it up to me after I finish. I have to get ready now." Tieto replied. "Aww come on! All you're doing is getting fucked up and driving a car. I bet nothing will even happen and you'll just end up driving around town out of your mind." Domina said in sexual frustration. "Hey, go fuck yourself and stop verbally attacking my experiments. If everything goes the way you expect, you'll get your morning dick. Now help me prepare the car." Tieto said, now a little pissed off.
The first thing Tieto did was eat a healthy breakfast, and then immediately afterwards dropped his acid. "Okay Domina, we have about an hour to get all preparations done before I start tripping." Tieto said, getting anxious. The fuel injectors were already loaded to full capacity with the LSD; all that was left to do was tune the neurotransmitters to the brainwave sensor in the driver's seat. Tieto needed the LSD to tap into the neurotransmitters, but it was theoretically possible to tap into them without taking acid if you had enough control over your mind.
After about an hour of tuning, Tieto was starting to have trouble focusing visually or mentally in general. He was getting the beginnings of the brightly colored, wavy, awesome LSD vision that comes on so early. The car was ready to go and Domina helped him get strapped in. She leaned into the car and gave him a kiss. "Good luck." She smiled. He flipped on the switches for the neurotransmitters and started the ignition. For some reason, Tieto began to picture a golden seashell in his head and was focusing on the perfect spiral that it was composed of. Next thing he knew, the car was at a magnificent hill going upwards. He could see it was about to stop going upwards and level out pretty soon. As soon as he spoke, he gave a little gas to the car and began shooting down hill in a right turn fashion at ridiculous speeds. The road was sparkly-golden and the car was leaving a rainbow-like trail behind it. The car started going faster, and Tieto was pumped, so he put his foot down on the gas all the way. The world around him was rainbowy and chaotic, and the only thing keeping him from losing his mind was focusing on the beautiful spinning golden path. Just then, he realized what had happened. He had been thinking about a golden seashell and the perfect spiral it contained, and then wha-la, it was his fucking race track. That's when he knew that he really had the power to influence this trip. Something clicked in his brain too and he realized that he had completely left reality. It must have been due to the high dose of LSD in the car. Then he experienced the most majestic feeling of being weightless as a bird, as if he were flying. He really wanted to close his eyes and enjoy the moment, but he was afraid if he did that the car would go off the spiral and float into nothingness. Finally he decided he didn't care, and shut his eyes. He felt invincible anyway, and with his eyes closed, he felt like superman, soaring faster than sound through time and space. A moment of darkness and he realized that his eyes didn't feel closed, because he could still see. But he was not in the same place anymore. The weightlessness had intensified and the most beautiful visuals covered the darkness of his eyelids. He was now flying faster than the speed of light throughout the vastness of the universe past stars, planets, nebulas, asteroids and everything in between. He looked to the sides of the car which somehow forced its way into his closed eye visuals and noticed the bright red and green wings that were over 30 feet in wingspan. But then again, what was a foot? Was it really that long? He looked at the wings again and noticed they were no longer the same shape or size. They kept morphing from eagle like, powerful vast wings, to quickly flapping, yet smaller bat wings. Finally they morphed into sleek fighter jet type wings which appeared to smooth out the ride and make the car go faster. Tieto was getting a little overwhelmed by all of this, not to mention he had the universe in the background flying past him at the speed of light if not faster. He decided he wanted it to change, so he tried to open his eyes only to realize that they were open and this trip was not changing. He closed his eyes and opened them again only to find himself going faster and the universe around him getting brighter and more chaotic. Tieto was starting to panic, but took a couple deep breaths to relax. Then he tried once more to change the trip. He closed his eyes and counted to ten. He opened them to find himself still in the same place, but felt a presence flying near him. He looked to the right of him and saw a space worm, flying just as fast as he was, right next to him. He didn't know if it was friendly, but it certainly was big enough to be intimidating. The space worm sped up until it was much further ahead of Tieto. All of a sudden it did a one eighty and Tieto was flying directly into its colossal, gaping wide mouth. It swallowed Tieto and the psycho mobile in a single incredible gulp. Now Tieto was wide eyed with fear. He was still flying at the speed of light down what he assumed was the worms esophagus. Tieto hoped this worm didn't have strong skin, because at this rate, he was bound to go flying out the other end of the worm. But the end never came. It seemed the worm's internals went on forever. Tieto started to notice that there were rocks and boulders inside the worm. Perhaps the trip had changed again. And now he was flying down some imaginary cave that was never ending. In fact, Tieto had stopped seeing any signs that he was anywhere inside a living thing. But it didn't matter anyway, he was still flying and not stopping. It had seemed like hours since the worm had swallowed him, but then again, what the fuck did he know about time? Time is only an illusion. And thinking about it only made the ride rockier.
He had gone down the cave/worm body for what seemed like an eternity, rocks and imaginary passages morphing and disappearing before his eyes, taunting him. He had a feeling of insanity. Just then, he saw a bright rainbow like light up ahead that gave him a very comfortable feeling. Perhaps this was an exit? It had to be, it was either moving really slowly or it was an exit, because the psycho mobile was gaining on it quickly. Moments later, he was within vague view of it and noticed it was not an exit; it was a vehicle, with a person riding it. It had to be the most glorious, colorful motorcycle he had ever seen. It didn't appear to be very fast, but maybe it was broken, or the driver was just cruising. He was finally in view of the driver, and it was… a woman? She had a completely red suit on, including her helmet. She looked at him, and sped up, as if she was trying to not let him pass her. Now she was traveling at the same speed as Tieto. He got a very comforting vibe from her though, like he knew her. Now she was right next to him and started standing up on the seat of her motorcycle, as if she was either showing off for him, or attempting to board his vehicle. The next thing Tieto knew, she jumped. She jumped feet first toward Tieto's right window and Duke's of Hazzarded it right into the window and onto the seat. She took off her red helmet and instantly her long rainbow hair came down and she shook it into place. She was wearing sunglasses that barely showed her eyes and the frames were as red as the jumpsuit she was wearing. She looked like a psychedelic, red suited version of Uma Thurman in Kill Bill when she had the yellow suit on with the ninja sword. But this woman was not like Uma Thurman. She seemed very gentle. Tieto knew he had seen her before. But he could not remember where or who she was.
"Who are you?" Tieto finally was able to stomach. All she did was pull her sunglasses down, revealing her dark blue eyes and looked right at him. Then she slowly eased her lips in a gentle smile which finally revealed her dazzling white teeth. "Are you the girl of my dreams?" Tieto asked, heart pounding. Then she swiftly reached over to the ignition on the car and ripped it out with the fiercest grip he had ever seen and put the key in Tieto's hand. Then she leaned in and kissed him. "Good luck." She said just before laughing like a hyena. She began to melt away as a tear rolled down Tieto's cheek. All of a sudden Tieto was sucked into his seat and forced there. He could move. He noticed that the car was slowing down and dropping down from the air, into the dark abyss of the cave below. Everything was going dark, Tieto felt as if he was suffocating and then finally, he went unconscious.
The next moment Tieto was aware, he felt like he was dropping out of the sky at a hundred miles an hour. That was the only sensation he had for along time, it was a little scary but it comforted him. All he could hear was the echo of that mysterious girl's hyena like laugh. Moments later, gravity kicked back in and Tieto felt the car hit the ground with a thud. It was only then that he noticed his eyes were closed. He opened them to find that his car was right where he had gotten into it earlier that day. In his garage. Domina was leaning into his window, slapping him in the face and unbuckling him. "Tieto?! Are you alright? Wake Up! Stay with me Tieto." She said in panic. Tieto's vision was coming back into full focus and he stared right into Domina's deep blue eyes. He reached up and put his hand on her cheek. "I'm fine bud." Tieto croaked, exhausted. "Thank god!" She said, fighting back some tears and a smile. "Have you been visiting me in my dreams Domina?" Tieto asked. "Because I think you're the girl of my dreams." Then they both got all horned up and had hot steamy sex all night.
The End.
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