Kindergarten by Mergina Anwari

I remember back when I was in kindergarten. I remember the magical blue circular carpet. I remember the naps, the milk and cookies, and the finger-paint. I remember all my friends who consisted of the whole class, including my teacher. I remember learning everything I needed for life and I remember learning how to live. My most cherished memory would probably have to be story time though. I loved it when Mrs. Freeland would open up a new crisp book and just read. We were all so into it that we didn't even need her expressions, our imaginations did it all. I loved it when she read about other countries and I loved when she read about princesses, but my all time favorite stories were about people overcoming obstacles. Yeah I know pretty impressive for a kindergartner, but that's just the way my class was, it was the best.

Then one day life took its toll and I had to leave that beautiful place called kindergarten. As much as I screamed and yelled and kicked I was still sent away to brand new place called first grade. I sat there grumpily on the first day but I lightened up a little when I saw some familiar faces, but I was still very anxious when I saw all the new ones. My new teacher was nice but she wasn't amazing or sweet like Mrs. Freeland. I didn't like her very much and she didn't even give me a Barbie sticker when I raised my hand and recited the ABC's and 123's. All she said was "good." I couldn't put "good" on the front of my backpack to show off. This was the beginning and the beginning was bad.

I soon realized that it was getting harder but I still managed. By the time I got to third grade I realized that no one cared if you knew your ABC's or 123's. It was all about do you know what this times this is or what that divided by that is? I didn't know then and probably still don't know now, I could've cared less though, which is why I despise math now. All I cared about was my own world, which consisted of nothing other than reading and writing. Throughout elementary school I got several young authors awards but I could never read them in front of the class, well strike that, I did once, in Mrs. Chapman's fifth grade class. It was a story about butterflies and how they possessed magical powers, whatever it was fifth grade. The first few minutes into the story the class burst out into loud menacing giggles and began mocking me. I was laughed at and ridiculed for using big words and actually reading fluently. Mrs. Chapman sent me back to my desk and ordered me, me, to put my head down. Wow. She was so stupid, is it my fault that you made me read, is it my fault that you can't control your stupid classroom, is it my fault that the rest of your students are illiterate? No, it's not, so why do I have to put my head down? And since I am me, I didn't. I just ran out of the classroom and into the girls bathroom where my mom and the principle found me half an hour later blowing my nose into my story. After I cried my eyes out I went home and wrote everything I hated out, and on the top of that list was writing. Too bad I couldn't stop doing it. With writing I let everything out, it felt like a burden was taken off my shoulders, it felt relaxing, it felt normal, with writing I felt like myself. But after that day no one ever saw my writing except for the occasional teacher who assigned writing assignments. I wouldn't even have my peers edit my paper. I hated elementary school, people say high school is bad but high school can't compare to the evils of the eleven-year-old twisted mind. I remember when I broke my leg and all the kids unanimously started laughing at me. Then when I got my crutches, asshole Alex had to pull the left one from right under my arm causing me to fall on the blacktop, bruising my face, and causing another hoard of laughter. I was a nerd granted, I would rather read the book than watch the movie, and I could give less of a shit if Alyssa thought I was cool or if the Mexican girls would let me hang out with them. Cruelty is still cruelty, which is why I just stopped. I stopped raising my hand I stopped giving in my papers I begged my mom to get me off that stupid program called gate. I hid all my tests so no one knew that I got A's, but I would let my math test occasionally be seen when I got a B or two but that wasn't often. I blamed my parents though and I strongly disliked them when they taught me something new or helped me in school. Although I sucked at math, my dad was an accountant and a really smart one at that, so therefore you see how that works.

Nonetheless, I hated school and I hated being an outcast. I never read my writing again, not after I was ridiculed and no matter how much my teachers asked and even if it depended on my grade I just wouldn't do it. This went on through junior high and most of high school. Junior high was fine even though most of the same people went there and kind of still called me a nerd but at least I could cope. I'm not going to lie though I was a pretty awkward looking kid, flat chested, pigeon-toed, frizzy haired, squinty eyed little kid, but I managed. Then came high school and for once there were so many people that no one had time to call me a nerd and teachers and sometimes students even praised me for doing well. I didn't hide my papers anymore and I took all the honors classes I desired. I felt normal for once in my life, yet I never read my writing out loud. Freshman year passed, then sophomore, then junior, and finally senior year was here, yeah! At orientation I finally got my schedule, everything seemed right except for fourth period creative writing, what the hell was that and why was it on my schedule? I didn't know or care I just wanted that stain off. I marched to the counselor's office and demanded a schedule change but Mrs. Campbell said to come in during the first day of school. So half an hour before school started I waited at the front office and when I finally spotted her I gave her my schedule and she looked at me amusingly and said that I had to wait at least two weeks before a schedule change could be done. What a bleep. I really hate it when adults tell you something and do another.  Now that I'm legally an adult I'm going to make sure that the tradition stays alive. When it finally came time for fourth period, I trudged there with a sullen face. Once in the classroom I looked around and the people seemed cool, mostly people I knew or have at least seen around, the teacher looked like she couldn't give any less of a crap. Yay, I also discovered that I didn't have to read until dumb Friday. Who put that stupid day in the calendar? Uh, wait but it was ok, it could be something someone else has written, yes I was clear until next Friday. From then on my mission was to get out of creative writing before Friday. When finally two long weeks passed I marched up to the attendance window with a big smile on my face. There I gave Mrs. Campbell my schedule quite politely and asked her if I could get another class for fourth period. She sent me to my counselor and I waited there a good ten minutes, when I finally got called in she snatched my schedule, looked at the computer screen and said, "Sorry no can do only level changes!" We both heard a big thud because my heart just hit the floor. Damn it what am I going to do now I thought to myself, guess I'll just suck it up and read and that's exactly what I did.

I read for the first time in a front of an audience in a long, long time. When I was done no one laughed and no one ridiculed instead they praised and commented. They were sincere, they were real, they critiqued, and they helped. I was no longer afraid to read anymore because for once people didn't judge. My fourth period creative writing class was the best class I've ever had. It gave me confidence and self-esteem. I felt like I was in kindergarten again. In kindergarten you don't think about what people do and you just do yourself and no one judges, in creative writing it's as simple as that. I don't know what else to say except that God put me in fourth period instead of fifth period for a reason. I wrote about everybody in the class but I lost it and I didn't write it again because I would end up with an essay for each person. But I love this class and I love Mrs.T and that should say everything that I'm missing. And for the record I still love butterflies and they do possess magical powers and in this class if I say that, it's ok because it's what I wrote and what I write matters, but nonetheless thank you for listening.

Rock

People said not to like him, but I did anyway. People said not to trust him, but I did anyway. People said not to be friends with him but I let my feelings take their toll. People said not to love him and that just dug deep, deep right into my soul.

The first time I saw him was at the park. I was jogging so quickly that I almost missed him, but just in the nick of time my peripheral vision glimpsed a figure sitting by the lake on an oversized rock. I would have normally just kept going except I noticed that he was crying. I took a couple of steps back ready to continue on with my jog but for some reason I couldn't move back, only forward, towards him. I stood beside him for a long minute before he noticed me. He was crying softly, silently, yet I could tell that he was in tremendous pain. My hand moved slowly towards his shoulder and when he felt my fingers lightly brush up against him, he jerked up. His face was so contorted that it was scary; I almost lost the beauty it contained, almost. I silently asked him what was wrong and he looked up at me almost confused for a second. Then I asked him again and then a third time. I didn't even realize that I was being so persistent and pushy but for some reason I just had to know what was causing his tremendous pain. He looked up at me astonished and muttered through tears, "Bozo died." "Ha, ha, ha," I stammered falling out of my trance. "Bozo died?" I repeated a little more than confused. I thought and thought and I guess we both thought for a while together. Then finally I said, "Well can't you just get a new dog." He looked at me in rage as if he wanted to hit me. "Bozo was my best friend," he spat out. I felt terrible, here there was this person in some unfathomable type of pain and I just told him to get another dog. I just looked at him and I didn't know what to say so I didn't say anything at all. Instead I just sat down next to him and put my arms around him. I didn't know what came over me, this was a complete stranger, but I couldn't help myself. My brain wasn't functioning anymore and my body movements were taking instructions from I don't know where. It wasn't my heart that's for sure because I wasn't in love. I just wasn't.

We sat there for a while, no a long time. I don't know how long maybe a couple of hours. We sat in silence and then robotically he helped me up and led me to his car. He looked at me and like a machine I spat out the directions to my house. We rode silently and then there came my house, I got out of the car and got up onto my doorstep and when I turned around he was gone. I sat up in bed wondering, like I was lost in some sort of trance but at the same time I was found. I cursed myself for not getting his number but what was done was done. For the next few weeks I continued my jogging at the park on the other end of the city because I thought to myself that if I went back there I would just sit on that rock and wait for him and never move. It was foggy outside on another day of my daily jogs but I still went out anyway, but I did grab a jacket just in case. On the way to the park it started raining, heavily. I turned my car around and passed by the lake, "Oh what the heck," I thought. It was raining so it didn't matter if I sat on that rock all day. I grabbed my big black umbrella and zipped my jacket all the way up. I could see from a distance that there was another occupant residing on my rock. "Maybe he'll move once I get there and break his bubble." I hoped. I got there and he didn't move, he just kept on staring out into the water. He had a black jacket on and his hood covered most of his face and then suddenly I realized how empty the park was. I started to pace back slowly until I stepped, and caught, and twisted my leg in a large tree root. He suddenly looked up and ran to catch my fall. It was him.

He looked down at me as he held me then abruptly let go. "I've been waiting for you." Was all he said. "I've been coming here everyday since the last time I saw you." I didn't know what to say so as usual I didn't say anything. "I wanted to thank you for staying with me that day." He continued as he stared out into the water. "No problem." I managed. Then words were lost once again and we both just stared out into the water. Then finally he asked if I wanted to get some coffee. "Sure." I replied. I followed him to his black Cadillac once again and once again we drove silently. All the while millions of thoughts were rushing through my head, so many of them that I began to get a headache until I completely shut them out. The diner he took me too was dingy and poorly lit. Once we walked in pairs and pairs of hard beady eyes of rough looking men staring up at me seized me. I unconsciously grabbed his arm and he grabbed my waist and pulled me towards him. He smelled like cologne and peppermint gum. As I inhaled his smell I realized that he could just as well be one of those guys that were sitting at the end tables of the diner. He could be, but he wasn't, I just new he wasn't. He led me to a brighter lit secluded corner and sat down in front of me. He didn't say anything but for once he didn't look away instead he just stared as if he was reading some mystical map on my face. He kept staring until the waitress tapped the table. Only then did he look up with a little blush in his cheeks. It quickly faded as he ordered two mocha coffees with extra cream. I looked at him until he looked up. "Yes?" He stated. "Why did you order for me?" I asked questioningly. His answer was short and simple, " Because I figured you liked sweet things, not bitter." Although his answer was right I just couldn't help but wonder. We drank our coffee in silence and then I followed him to his car. It was dark and the alleyway in front of us was pitch black. He ordered me to walk in front of him and rested his hand on the small of my back. Once in the car he asked me if I wanted to go home. "No." I said. He looked up surprised and for once looked like he was uneasy. "Alright, then where would you like to go?" He said slowly. I couldn't help but giggle at his expression, which caused him to make an even more confused and cuter face. I laughed lightly as I said I wanted to go to the lake where I had left my car. He smirked and for a whole second smiled even and then we rode in silence once again. Once we got to my car I got out and began to open my door until I felt his hand on mine. "Wait." He said. "The moon is out," and he pointed out onto the lake. As I turned to look I caught my breath, it was beautiful, the moon shining so bright on the lake, the blue green water glittering against the twinkling stars. "It's gorgeous." I gasped. I suddenly felt his mouth on my open one and his hips push against mine. He kissed, and then kissed, and then stopped. "Sorry," he muttered breathlessly. "I don't know what came over me." "I do." I said with a smirk, "It was me." He looked at me and smiled a real genuine smile. He held my hand and asked me if I would stay a while with him and when I smiled at him he grabbed my hands and led me to the rock. We sat there for a while until my butt started to hurt and when I kept squirming around he slid off the rock and told me to wait a second. I heard him close the trunk of his car as he quickly came back. The rock was pretty high and pretty big but he managed to hold a big bundle in his left arm and pick me up off the rock with his right arm. When he put me down he unrolled the big bundle, which consisted of two big blankets and a pillow. He threw one of the blankets over the top of the rock and set the pillow on one side. He then turned to me and picked me up and set me up on the rock, butt under pillow. I pulled off my shoes and once he was beside me he did the same. He put the blanket around my shoulders and hugged me. I squirmed out and put the blanket around him and breathed into his neck. I guess that was too much for him because he suddenly grabbed my jaw and kissed me hard. I put my head on his shoulders and stared out into the lake. Somehow then, I guess I fell asleep.

Then I woke up from my dream. He was gone and all this really did happen, but I guess it was only to me. I don't really know what love is and yes I think our story was strange and unusual but it was also real. Love though, I guess I really never knew but I did know him for three months and we became closer than I think I've ever been with anyone and maybe he did love me at least that's what he wrote in the letter he left me before he just disappeared. My friends who witnessed him and his antisocial behavior told me and begged me to end it but I couldn't and honestly, just wouldn't. His name was Liam and I didn't know it for a long time because I never asked him because that's how strange everything was between us but he knew my name he never asked, but he just knew. He was like that with most things, very secretive. It was a good thing, what we had, but I guess all good things come to an end. Don't get me wrong I was devastated when he left me but a person learns and grows overtime and they realize things and I have come to understand that things happen, good or bad, they happen nonetheless. My story is strange and not a normal love story but like I said I don't know what love is because I don't know if I have experienced it or not but I do know a lot about reality and when you dream in a real world no matter what you are bound to wake up and once you do reality strikes, hard. I didn't know what to do and often I sat and still sit at that rock overlooking the lake, wondering, crying, and dreaming. Today I was looking straight ahead sitting at my usual place on my rock. I heard ducklings and when I looked down sure enough there they were about six or seven of them swimming clumsily behind their mother, their rock against the world. I started crying because I realized that the only rock I ever had in my life was the one that I was sitting on, it was the only one that stayed behind. The rest of my life was full of glass and unlike rock, glass breaks and shatters. As I was crying someone tapped me on my shoulder and when I looked up he asked me if I was ok, when I said I was fine, he held out his hand and said, " Hi, I'm Aiden." When I reached out to shake it, it felt like rock.

           

You in Your Fragile Existence by Michelle Yee

    I am highly aware

of this fragile existence we have here,

in six seconds smashed

like glass

in the wail of a car crash,

 

or cut by the cold raging razor

or knife to the gut--

alone, 3 a.m., and losing blood.

 

…I realize how fragile

this one moment is--

how little I can actually do,

and how little I can leave behind.

 

I know I am not very significant,

but this moment matters,

You matter,

and I will love you in your fragile existence.

 

ɐɾǝɔ ןnɐɹ ʎq pǝzʎןɐɹɐd

I've always had a babysitter when I didn't want to or couldn't go somewhere with my parents. Now that I am eleven, my parents have decided I am old enough to stay home on my own.
"If you need anything just call us or go to the neighbor." Said my dad.
"There's some spaghetti in the refrigerator and chicken nuggets in the freezer. We don't want to come home and find you hungry. And brush your teeth" Said my mom.
"And don't answer the door for anyone, not even us, we have keys." Said my dad.
"I know, I can take care of myself. Adios."
"Adios mijo, cuida te." My parents kissed me and closed the door behind them. I heard car doors open and shut, and the headlights shone through the curtains as they pulled out of the driveway.
Now that they're gone, my party begins. I stuck some chicken nuggets in the microwave, poured a giant glob of barbeque next to them and I began watching South Park. My parents never let me watch it when they're home but they're not here to stop me, feels good to go against authority. After the marathon was over, I decided to go brush my teeth and get ready to go to bed.
As I lay on my bed, tossing and turning, and trying to get the blanket to cover my feet, I finally got comfortable. I closed my eyes and drifted away into unconsciousness.
Sometime at around 12:15 am I was awoken by my security lights turning on and shining through my blinds right into my face. The barking of my dogs also woke me up. I tried to ignore the incessant barking of my dogs but after two minutes, my patience ran out and I decided to do something about it. I stepped out of my room, hair hanging over my eyes but before I could open the sliding door and yell, my dogs bolted across the backyard and ran back into the garage; I didn't think much of it. Since I'm up, might as well use the toilet.
As I was standing there at the toilet, waiting for it to come out, trying not to fall asleep, the bathroom got a little darker as the security lights turned off. I finished up and began walked back through the kitchen to my room. My room is a new addition to the house so it is added onto the kitchen and separated from everyone else.
As I walked through the kitchen, I felt my heart sink as I saw something out the corner of my eye. I think I saw a transparent gray shadow hide in my shed. If anything were out there, my dogs would have alerted me. I lay down on my bed again to fall asleep again but the thought of what could be out there won't let me sleep.
It's 12:29 now and I still can't sleep, I keep on imagining the worst. Every pop, every creak, every squeak is keeping me awake. The sounds are imaginary but they feel real enough to me to get me to turn my head every time I hear one. My heart sank into my chest, my eyes peeled open and I felt a cold sweat as I heard the next sound. It was the sound of something touching my window. I'm afraid to look, I don't want to see what's at my window but I have to, I have to see what it is.
Eyes the size of a fist, and as black as the night it arrived in. It has a hole where its mouth should be. Its throat is clearly visible as it peeks through my blinds trying to see me. Each of its 3 bony fingers are nearly 10 inches long and the finger tip are rounded as if they're suction cups on an octopus. It's cold hands led to its very long, pale, and angular arms. It's nothing but skin, bones, and fear.
I want to move and run out of my room but I can't, I can't move. I'm frozen in fear. The paralysis further adds to my terror as I'm afraid of not being able to move. All I can do is stare into its dark eyes and hope it leaves me alone. My breathing is shallow despite my high heart rate. Every time my heart beats, I can feel it getting closer. It's eyes are pitch black and motionless but I know it sees me, I can feel it. Its hand slowly moved down the window and it turned then walked out of view.
In a quick act of desperation, I got out of bed and ran into the kitchen, not even bothering to close the door behind me. I felt pain in the toes of my right foot, my right cheekbone and heard a few pops as I hit a corner in the darkness. I lost my balance and I hit my elbow really hard on the ceramic tile floor. I scrambled to get up and try to ignore the pain in my body but the floor is too slippery. I tried crawling but it hurts too much to crawl on my knees. I collapsed again and tried to drag myself but it's not enough. Hot tears of agony streamed down my face and gave me a saline taste in my mouth; I just want my parents to be here to protect me.
I heard high-pitched squeal. It's not a sound I heard with my ears, it's a sound I heard in my head. It keeps getting louder and louder to the point where it drowns out my thoughts and it hurts my brain. I want to get something sharp like a screwdriver and jam it into my ear to scratch my brain but I can't fight this. My tears made my vision blurry but I could still make out the 2 figures standing in my living room, they're getting closer.
A hand grabbed my ankle and dragged me across the kitchen floor. My fingernails did nothing to slow me down. It flipped me onto my back and put something on my face. I tried to scream for help but the mask went into my mouth and my nose and it goes in deeper with every breath. I'm drowning.
My body is wrapped in some unrippable, latex sheet. I can toss and turn all I want but nothing is going to get me free and out of the nightmare's grip. The sound of walking on metal resonated beneath me as I was carried uphill. I heard a whoosh behind me and I felt weightless. My body was fastened to a cold table, they really didn't want me out. A tube was forced down my windpipe and I felt it vibrate as it pumped something into my lungs. Drowsiness overpowered me.
First I felt the cold all over me then my eyes slowly opened. I saw my naked, shivering body lying on the cold operating table. The harnesses are gone but I still can't move, all I can do is shiver. Scalpels, probes and my sweatpants are drifting in the weightlessness of outer space. I want to scream for help but the tube in my mouth won't let me, and who will hear me out here? I heard more steps but I can't turn my head to see where they're coming from, I can only move my eyes. An alien appeared from the side and gazed into my eyes, it blinked once and looked at another one of its kind. The other one stood at my feet and looked me then gulped. I felt a cold finger touch the back of my neck and run down my spine and a cold chill run up it. The first one grabbed some metal contraption and put it around my right eye so it would stay open, now my eyes are fixated up. A machine came out of the ceiling and a needle extended out of it and shot a light into my eye. Next I felt something icy and wet on my chest. Something cold and metal touched down on the center of my chest and ran down leaving a trail of pain. Before I knew it, the needle above me got closer and closer. I felt a brief feeling of intense pain right before everything went cold and black.

Monster Part II by Kelly McGinnis

He fell back, his forced fleshy body bounced off of the stubbornness of the door which stood tall in front of him, mocking him. Thomas was dazed, but desperately he threw himself at the door again and again, harder and harder, until he heard a painful crack in his left arm. He braced himself before he slowly looked down to see the gnashed bone protruding from what should have been his elbow. Shocked, he stumbled backwards and fell to a kneel after his back slid down the wall opposite the door. He wept. He felt himself losing energy, weaker and weaker as time went on, and yet there was no other cure than to devour the young. This was not his choice. The guilt he felt was unbearable. But he knew of his genealogy, and he had to sacrifice the life of this young boy before he, too, became a monster.

His teeth grinded together, in hopes of inspiring physical strength, ignorant that his indurate tongue tip was resting in between his molars. As the realization of the pain struck him, his own gleaming blood reminded him once again what his purpose was. He wasn't decrepit just yet. It was time to end this, before it was too late.

He gathered composure and stood up to face the door, his unmatched opponent. If it had eyes, his phlegmatical glare of quiet confidence would have been burning holes straight through them. He lifted his left foot and was about to kick the door in before another surprise was thrown his way. In all the irony that is life, the golden lock unlatched itself and there was an entire inch of darkness separating the door from its white frame.

He took a deep breath and stood dumbfounded for a moment before he decided to take the next logical step fate was offering him. His right hand lifted from his side towards the doorknob, shaking. Jonah was waiting.

As he pushed open the red door, the outside light from the hallway illuminated the small, furnished room. Thomas could barely see through the unsettled dust clouds in the air but still he entered, this time cautiously. Although he felt it would be better to make a silent entrance, the floorboards forbid it. The echos of creaks and crepitation bounced from wall to wall, and he realized that this room was larger than he originally thought, a master suite of some sort. Burgundy satin sheets were left made on the canopy bed, with imprints towards the center made by a small child who was now in hiding from his murderer. Almost a bulls-eye. He stepped further into the room and scoped for possible hiding places. He eyed the gaps between the hemmed curtains and the floor, the musty fireplace, for any lifted corners of rugs; he searched for anything that could be out of place. With no obvious luck, he began lifting, opening, emptying and rustling through the fallen furniture. In his fragile condition, he couldn't afford to be too rough. "Jonah," he called in a soothing, raspy voice. "Jonah I know you're in here. Please, won't you come out? I'm getting so tired; and, look I've hurt my arm...I need your help." He stumbled upon a small door in the back of the room, hidden from his original viewpoint by a large mahogany wardrobe. He didn't hear the rain, but a dampness seeped into his shoes as it traveled through the seams of the wooden floor, in and under the cracks. Due to the disintegrated and stain infested ceiling, he pressed on with his search, knowing that dampness was the least of his worries. He opened the door, and crawled into a small cement room large enough to hold no more then twelve people at one time- uncomfortably.

It was cold in this room, not to mention pitch black dark and smelly. The stench was increasingly strong but his sense of smell was immune to it in its weakened condition. As he trudged through the inches of collected liquid, he continued to call out to Jonah seductively, pausing slightly after each time to hold his breath in hopes of hearing a movement of the boy. To his patient disappointment, the only sounds he could hear were the constant drips of the liquid from the wooden bedroom floor into the small room that was half a level below ground. After what seemed to be ten minutes of waiting for Jonah to reveal himself, or to be found, his body hadn't stopped growing weaker. He needed light, there were no windows in this room. To quicken the solution to his strife, he searched his pockets for a flashlight or anything that could enable him to see. With luck, he found a cigarette lighter- an engraved silver trinket he took to remember his son, whom he killed the same way he would kill his grandson- a bullet to the head, quick and efficient, followed by the consumption of human flesh. He flipped the top and applied pressure to the thumbwheel.

Jonah stood across the street and dropped the emptied can of gasoline to the ground.

Breaking Some Rules by Megan O'Connor

Chapter 1: My Planned Summer             It was the summer after my high school graduation. My parents owned a condo in Maui, Hawaii, which is where we spend every summer. Both of my parents graduated from Harvard University with a degree in law. Today, my mom works for a well-known law firm in Boston and my dad is a professor at Harvard Law School. They commute with each other every morning on the train from Connecticut. I graduated from Darien High School with a 4.0 grade point average and college credit in both English and U.S. History. I was the captain of my school's scholastic decathlon team and we won state my senior year. My parents and I basically had my life laid out in a book: graduate from high school as the valedictorian, attend Harvard, earn a law degree, become a well-known lawyer at a law firm in Washington D.C., and maybe run for office. Harvard and law has been a tradition in my family for many generations, and it was now my turn to follow in that path. When my parents went through the mail and saw a large package from Harvard University, I knew that my decision was already made before the envelope was even opened.                                                                               "Janie!" I heard my mom, Mary Anne, call from the kitchen. I set my book, "The Notebook" by Nicholas Sparks, down on the table, stood up from the large chair on the balcony of our condo, and walked towards the kitchen. "Your father and I were thinking we could drive into Lahina tomorrow for the day. And on Friday, we made reservations to go on a snorkeling trip on the Trilogy."             And that is how every summer was-planned week after week. "That sounds fun. Are we just going to unpack and get settled in for tonight?"             "No, we are going to do that right now because tonight, there is a small get-together for the members at the Plantation House. This weekend should be clear though because I have some work to do before Connecticut goes down the toilet." My mom ran for the governor of Connecticut during the last election and won. She quit her job at the law firm shortly before running.              The best part about Hawaii was that formal attire meant a Hawaiian summer dress or tan slacks with sandals and a Hawaiian shirt. Thankfully, the party wasn't too boring. There were a few speeches here and there about upcoming events at the Plantation House after dinner, but the food is always incredible. However, the six hour jet lag was starting to get to me.              On Thursday, we went to Lahina, which is my favorite town on the island. It is right on the ocean with one strip of cute little shops and restaurants. In this town, casual attire is always a bathing suit under summer clothes. We ate lunch at Cheeseburger in Paradise, then ended the day with dinner at Mamma's.      Chapter 2: Keith              The only problem with the snorkeling trip was that I am deathly afraid of deep water and sharks. This will be the first times I will have ever been snorkeling even though I have been coming here every year for the last eighteen years. I've never been the adventurous type either. This trip is supposed to take us to Molakini and Turtle Cove.             The Trilogy was run by a family, and there were about three other boats they use. On our boat, there was the father, who owned the business, his daughter, and his nephew. When we reached Molakini, I looked down at the clear, turquoise water. I could see the bottom, which helped me feel a little safer. The daughter, Faith, jumped into the ocean from the side of the boat. She had a snorkel on and went under the water to tie the boat to a huge tie hooked to the wall of the inactive volcano. The father, Tim, gave us directions as to what to do when we reached the end of the ladder. Either Faith or her cousin, whose name is Keith, are going to be sitting on a surf board and we are supposed to swim to it until we get used to the Hawaiian ocean waters. My dad, being the adventurous one of the family, was one of the first ones in the water. My mom and I, however, were the last ones to walk down the ladder and into the ocean. When I reached the bottom of the ladder, I made sure that I was prepared and chomped down on my snorkel. However, instead of following instructions properly, I decided to leap from the ladder to the surfboard.             "You freaking out?" Keith asked me. His soaking wet blond hair was pushed by his goggles and snorkel.             I looked at him and he was smiling at me. But instead of doing something flirtatious, I said, "No," with the snorkel in my mouth. My jaw was probably white from clenching down on the snorkel, and my eyes were practically bulging out of my head.             "Welcome to the ocean." He said laughing slightly. I removed the snorkel from my mouth and smiled at him, laughing a little. "Want me to show you around?"             I nodded. "Sure."              "So, hold on to the surfboard like this, breathe normally, and just look down. Let me worry about where we are going. You just enjoy."               I smiled at him and he smiled back. His smile looked like the smile from one of those Crest toothpaste commercials with the sparkle on the teeth. When I put my face in the water, all of my fears of sharks and deep water left me. It was like a whole new world. There were plants and fish of hundreds of different colors. It was magical. I panicked for a second when I saw a shark down at the very bottom, but then I realized that it was thirty feet below me and only a couple of feet long. Panic over.              A few minutes before everyone got back on the boat, Keith helped me up onto his red and while striped surf board. "So, what do you think?" he asked me.             I pulled the snorkel and goggles off of my face. "Amazing! Beautiful! I thought I was going to be terrified, but I wasn't." He smiled at me. "Thank you."             "I'm Keith." He held out his hand.              I shook his. "Janie."             "So, what brought you to Maui?"             "My parents own a condo in Kahana and we come here every summer. We're from Connecticut."             "Wow, you come quite a ways."              "Yea. We would probably move out here, but with my mom being the governor and all, it's kind of hard to get away. What about you?"             "What about me?" he seemed puzzled.             "Well, I believe it's your turn to tell me about you."             "Oh really?"               "Fair's fair."             "Well, my uncle owns this whole Trilogy business and I've been working with him for as long as I can remember. I go to the University of Hawaii and I'm majoring in recreation. I'm taking over this business when my uncle retires in a few years."             "His daughter isn't?" I asked curiously. It seemed normal that the daughter would take over the family business instead of the nephew.             No. Faith is going to start at the University of Hawaii this fall. She's planning on majoring in marine biology. It's not that she doesn't want to take over the business, but she has made it clear that she wants to do something different with her life."             "Wow! That's impressive. You guys love that college, huh?"             "Well, it's home. We've never been any place else, and we are happy here." I smiled at him. We were silent for a few minutes. "Well, I should probably start getting everyone back on the boat." He hesitated for a moment. "Hey, are you busy tonight?"             "Actually, I'm not sure. I may be busy relaxing after this stressful day." I exaggerated while looking around teasingly.              He laughed. "So, you're free?"             I laughed with him. "Yes, I am."             "Meet me at the Fat Cat in Lahina. It's right across from the Banyon Tree. The best fish tacos you will ever have."             "Great! So, seven o'clock?"             "Seven." We smiled at each other."Now, go enjoy the ocean. I have to get back to work." I put my snorkel on and slid off of the surfboard.             "Am I distracting you too much?"             Instead of responding, he splashed a small wave of water at me then headed back towards the ladder of the boat.                             Back at the condo, I spent the rest of the afternoon trying to figure out what to wear. I have never been the type of girl who deliberates for hours over an outfit, but this had been my first real date other than prom. This was ridiculous! How do some girls do this more than once a day? I don't get it. After about thirty minutes, I chose a light blue halter dress with white flip-flops.             "Hey Dad, I'm off. Mind if I take the jeep?" I said picking my purse up from my bedroom floor.             "Come here for a minute please, sweetheart." My dad was out on the balcony enjoying the warm Hawaiian night reading his book. "You know that your mom is pretty skeptical about this, right? I mean, meeting a boy for a few minutes on a snorkeling trip, then saying that you are going on a date with him is not really her cup of tea." My dad knew how mom responded to everything and always warned me before something blew up.             "I know, but I've never been on a date before other than prom."             I know, and I'm beyond ready to let you meet someone. You're an adult now and can make your own decisions. I just want to be aware of how your mother feels about this. Even though I consider you to be a mature adult, she may not see that completely yet."             "Thank you, Dad. But it's time for me to find a life now.  It's my turn for my own summer romance."             He smiled. "Have fun, kiddo. Love you."             "Love you too. "What time do you want me back? Eleven?"  I said taking the car keys off of the hook by the front door.             "Whenever." He answered opening his book.             I jumped slightly at his answer. "Thanks Dad!"             I shut the door behind me and walked towards the red jeep. I finally found the entrance to the Fat Cat. It took me a while to find the stairs that led me to the elevator so that I could get to the second floor. When I reached the front of the restaurant, I saw Keith sitting at a table with two chairs by the railing. He was wearing white shorts, brown flip-flops, and a green t-shirt. He stood up when he saw me. I walked towards him.              "Hey, Janie."             "Hey."             We stood their looking at each other. It was kind of an awkward situation actually.               "I have something for you," he said. I looked at him confused. "It's nothing big, but I figured that you're in Hawaii, so you might as well feel like it." He had an orchid in his hand and tucked it behind my ear.              "Thank you!" I smiled. "It's beautiful! I love it!"             He smiled back at me. "Here." He turned around and pulled out my seat for me.              "Oh, thank you." I said taking my seat. I was surprised at how polite he was.             We ordered our food and made some small talk here and there. We were still at that awkward stage of a first date. We both ordered fish tacos, and surprisingly, he was right. They were the best fish tacos I've ever had.             "So, there's still one thing you haven't told me that I've already told you about me." Keith said over dessert. We were splitting a hot fudge sundae with extra whip cream along with smoothies. It may sound disgusting to have a smoothie and chocolate at the same time, but it's not too bad. Whip cream has always been my favorite part about dessert, and it happened to be his too.             "Oh really? And what might that be?" I asked flirtatiously.             "Where are you going to school?" He took another bite of the brownie.             " I'm starting at Harvard in the fall."             "Harvard? Wow! Incredible!"             "Thanks! My parents went there and they both studied law, and that's what I'm going to do. It's kind of like a family tradition I guess. We are just a family of lawyers."             "Is that what you want?"             "Well, yea. I mean, it's what my family has always done and where they have gone to school. So, I guess I'm destined to do it too."             He just looked at me and didn't say anything.             "What?" I broke the silence.             "Nothing." He blinked back into focus. We finished the sundae in the next few minutes and he paid for both of us. "Come with me." He held out his hand, and I placed mine in his. I didn't bother to ask where we were going, I just followed him.              We walked down the main strip of Lahina until we reached a small flight of seven steps that lead to the beach. The sunset was almost over and the waves gracefully broke upon their entrance. We took our flip-flops off and walked across the beach holding hands. We were the only two there. Everyone else was busy shopping or eating dinner.             "It's so beautiful here." I said looking out towards the horizon. "I love it."             "You never get used to this when you've lived here your whole life either."             "I wish we lived here."             "Me too." He replied looking into my eyes. "Can I see you again tomorrow?"             "Yes, absolutely." I said smiling. We exchanged cell phone numbers. "I just have to check and see what my parents have planned."             "Okay, great!" We stood there in silence looking at each other. We didn't say anything, yet it felt as if we could stand there and read each other.             He gently raised his left hand, tucked a my hair behind my ear, then softly stroked my cheek. He moved his head down and his lips gracefully touched mine. It had its own sense of romance with the empty beach and ocean waves crashing in at our feet.         Chapter 3: Summer Comes to an End               Throughout the rest of summer vacation, Keith and I spend every day together. There were some days we spent at the beach and others spent helping his uncle on his snorkeling day trips. By the end of the summer, I came to love the Hawaiian ocean and being in the water. I guess some fears can be overcome.             "There's a place I want to take you tonight." Keith told me while we were lying on the beach one afternoon.                           "Have we been there before?" I asked.             "No."             "Have I ever been there before?"             "No."             How do you know? I just met you this year."             "Because you just turned eighteen in the spring." I ran out of questions. "I was thinking late last night that I haven't taken you dancing yet." I glanced up at him smiling. "There's an eighteen and over dance club in Lahina. I figured that tomorrow night is the Luau, so we should go tonight."             "We should?"             "Yes."             "Are you sure?"             He laughed. "Yes," he said kissing my hand. I lied down in his arms. "I have to work the day after the Luau, but are you free that night."             "No," I mumbled quietly.             "Oh, what are you doing?"             "Packing."             He didn't say anything. All he did was kiss the top of my head and held me tight.              "I love you Janie." He said softly. My heart leaped and I knew he sincerely meant it.             "I love you too." I squeezed his hand.                    The night we went to the club, I decided to wear a white strapless dress that flows down to the very top of my knees. I chose to wear my pink flip-flops and curl my hair to make it look slightly wavy.              "Hey." Keith said as I opened the front door to my condo. "You look beautiful."             "Thank you." I smiled at him. He was wearing white shorts and a Hawaiian t-shirt with his brown flip flops.             He held up a white pooka shelled necklace. My mouth dropped. "Turn around," he said. I turned my back to him and lifted up my hair. He gently lifted his arms up and placed the necklace around my neck. To my surprise, it only took him one try to hook the lock. He quietly kissed the back of my neck before I turned around to face him.             "I love it!" I smiled. "You didn't have to get me anything."              "I know," he took my hand in his, "but I wanted to. It's something you can remember your first summer romance by." We kissed. "Ready to go?" I nodded and followed him out to his car.              The club was in Lahina above an art gallery. They played all different genres of music, and there was a disco ball hanging in the middle of the dance floor and a D.J. set up in the front.             "Like it so far?" Keith shouted in my ear over the loud music. We were sitting one of the tables drinking soda.             "Yea! It's great!" I shouted in response and took another sip of my Dr. Pepper.             "Let's dance!" He pulled me by the hand before I had even finished taking a sip of my drink. He quickly found an open spot on the dance floor. We didn't take a break from dancing until the club closed at midnight. Afterwards, we made our way down to the beach where we first kissed.             It was going to be hard to say good-bye to Keith tonight. I wasn't sure how I was going to do it, but I guess I'd manage just like I did before I met him. I would be interning along with taking classes, which means I would hardly have any free time. Six thousand miles apart would be ridiculous too. It's not like one of us could just jump in the car and come visit if we couldn't stand being away from each other anymore. It would be an expensive ten hour flight too.             "Hey Keith, you know that this is going to be really hard, right?" I asked. We were walking down the beach with our arms wrapped around each other, holding our slip-flops in the opposite hand.             "I know," he replied. "Law school is hard and I'm going to be juggling a job and school." I looked at him confused. How could be work at his job when the University is on the big island. "When I'm away at school, I work as the event planner. I take the messages and arrange the trips for my uncle. It's the only way I would still get paid and I need the money for school. But, it'll be alright. We'll be okay. Love is love." He kissed my cheek and I smiled at him in response. He was right, and I knew it. I loved him and he felt the same way in return.                    Keith and I said our good-byes when he dropped me back off at my condo at around two in the morning. From outside, it looked as if all of the lights were off, but when I opened the front door, I found my mom reading in the recliner.             "Hey, Janie. Did you have a nice time?" My mom asked sitting up and placing her book on the coffee table.             "Yea, I did. Thanks. I didn't mean to keep you up though. "             "Oh, no. You didn't. I was at the best part of my book and I couldn't put it down. Your father has been asleep for hours though. Come sit down for a minute." I sat on the couch next to the recliner. She looked at me in silence, and I knew that she was about to bring up a topic I wouldn't like.             "Now Janie, I want you to listen to me, okay?"             I nodded.             "I don't want you to see Keith anymore." I knew it. My heart sank. "You need to realize that you are going to be one hundred percent committed to your studies at Harvard. This is not the time to have this big of a distraction in your life. You have certain expectations you have to reach."             "I don't have to reach up to anything."             "Yes you do. You have a family to please."             "No, I don't!" I raised my voice.             "Don't you argue with me. Just obey what I am saying like you have for your whole life."             "Does Daddy know what you're asking me to do?"             "No, but he and I have always agreed on things when it comes to your education."             "I have worked my ass of for the last fifteen years! I deserve to have a man in my life!"             "Don't you dare sware again or I call him up on my own! Yes, you've worked hard, but you're not done. You've had your fun."             "No!"             She stood up and started towards her bedroom with her book. "Well, you either do as I say and follow your family's tradition or break it. And I can assure you that you'll become a disgrace to the Martin family."             "I sat there in the dark devastated. The last thing I wanted to do was upset my family. Maybe he would understand and want to keep in touch. I wanted to believe it, but I knew it probably wouldn't happen. I didn't want to lose him though.             I immediately grabbed my purse and ran to the jeep. I knew that I was not going to have to worry about waking his parents because he rented a house with two of his friends from high school. When I got there, I went around the back of their house and knocked on the sliding glass door that led to Keith's bedroom. A couple of seconds later, he was at the door fumbling with the lock.              "Janie?" he said, both confused and startled. I stood there in silence looking at him. Tears began building gin my eyes. "You alright?" He hugged me close. "Come inside." I followed him inside and he closed the door behind me. I set my purse down on the floor and sat on the side of his bed.             I told him everything.             "I thought your parents liked me." He sounded confused and upset. "I'm lost on what you're trying to do."             I drew in a deep breath. "I can't be in a serious relationship right now, especially one that's six thousand miles apart."             "Janie, two hours ago you were saying that you wanted to make this work and telling me how much you loved me."             I released the tears in my flooded eyes. "I do love you."             "Then why? Is this your mom speaking or you?"             I have expectations to meet, and my family…"             "What? They what?" He interrupted me shouting. "Do they want you to marry a serious lawyer? Run for President? Spend all of your time behind a desk at an office twenty-four seven?"             "I…I don't…" I was at a loss for words. I had never seen him so angry before.             "They do, don't they?"             "I'm sorry!" I sobbed.             "Janie, you can't do this! I love you!" He placed his hands on the sides of my face.             "I love you too." I whispered back.             We stood together in silence for a few moments with our heads resting against each other.              "I should go." I broke the silence.             "Don't." I could hear his voice crack. I didn't want to go, but I pulled away and picked up my purse. "Let me ask you something." I turned around to face him." Whose life are you living? Yours or theirs?"             "Bye Keith." I ran out the sliding door to my jeep in tears.     Chapter 4:  Only Temporary              It was August fifteenth-moving day. My roommate seemed pretty normal: smart, mature, and disciplined. My parents seemed satisfied, which meant a lot, but I wasn't. I missed Keith. I wanted him back so badly, but I had broken his heart. The look on his face two weeks ago was indescribable. He was so shocked and hurt. He hasn't even attempted to contact me, but I don't blame him at all. He probably hated me. I had to move on, both for my sake and his.             One month into school, and I hated it. My parents kept nagging me about grades, I was getting three hours of sleep each night, and spent the days studying. My only friend was my roommate. I had no life here, and I couldn't do this for the rest of my life. Keith was right. I wasn't living my life, I was living theirs.             "Mom, I'm going to tell you something very important and I need you to listen to me very carefully, okay?"             "Okay." It sounded like she was going to get on my case even though she had no idea what I was going to tell her.             I took a deep breath to try and relax. "I'm transferring to the University of Hawaii."             "No you're not."              "Yes, I am!"             "Janie, you are not! And that's that!"             "It's not your decision! I have had it with you telling me how to live my life. I'm not happy anymore, and if you care about me at all, you will support me in whatever it is I choose to do.  You couldn't have been happy when your parents pushed you into this too."             There was silence on the phone. I could hear heavy breathing in the background. Three…two…one…             "Not necessarily. If you go against your parents' wishes, deceive your family, and do all of this for some boy, then I don't need to support you. And neither will your family. Maybe I wasn't happy with my parents, but they knew what was best for me, and I was too young to know for myself. You can pay for this yourself too. Good luck with that."             "Fine. Thanks for the concern, but I received a full ride scholarship for being the valedictorian of my high school class. I'm double majoring in marine biology and recreation."             "You hate science."             "Maybe, but I have always loved dolphins and sea turtles. I fell in love with being in the water when we were in Hawaii this last summer, and you would have known that if you would listen to your daughter. Maui has an aquarium in Kahana that I'm planning of working at."             "So, you are throwing your valedictorian and Harvard Law Degree away to become a tour guide?"             "No! A veterinarian! And so what if I wanted to become a tour guide? As long as it made me happy, then so what?"             I heard her smirk on the other line. "Then was is this silly recreation business?"             "First of all, it's not silly. If it's an actual major at many universities, I wouldn't call it stupid. Anyways, I'm going to run the Trilogy business with Keith."             "Wow, unbelievable. Well, have a good life Janie. Don't bother to contact us."             "Mom, come on! You are being ridiculous!"             She hung up. I sure hope she heard those last four words though. She deserved to hear them.                     I packed my belongings and moved to Hawaii on Christmas day. It seemed like an odd day to travel, but I ended up getting a great deal on my airplane ticket. Thankfully, I wouldn't have to worry about a place to live when I landed. My parents weren't talking to me, but they never took my condo keys away. I had everything planned out, except for Keith. The rest of the plan was up to him. I hope he'll forgive me.             When I got to the condo, I decided to not unpack just yet. Depending on how things went with Keith that night, I may be staying here or at his house.             While I was on the plane, I came up with a brilliant plan on how I was going to approach him. I would drive to his house in the middle of the night and knock on his sliding glass door, just like I had the night before I left in August. Apparently, I had to end it there because the rest is up to him. He could either forgive me or slam the door closed without saying a word.             My heart began to race as I knocked on his door. I heard him fumbling around inside. It was obvious that he had been in a deep sleep. Suddenly, I saw him peek through the blinds then I heard him unlock the door.             I didn't say anything. I just stood there looking at him.             "Janie?" He said softly.             I stood still while tears began forming in my eyes.             "What are you doing here? On Christmas night?"                 "I'm so sorry, Keith. I'm so sorry." I sobbed.             "Janie, I can't believe it's you! Janie!" He threw his arms around me and picked me up. We kissed passionately as he carried me into his room and closed the door behind him along with the curtains.                    I woke the next morning to Keith's hand gently stroking my cheek. "             "Good morning, sweetheart." He said.             "Morning." I mumbled into his chest letting gout a long sigh. I was still jetlagged.             "Hey, you never answered my question last night." He stated after he let me wake up for a few minutes. I lifted myself up so I could look him in the face as I explained everything.             "I transferred to the University of Hawaii. I received a full academic scholarship for being the valedictorian of my high school graduating class. I'm going to double major in marine biology and recreation."             He looked at me in shock. "What about your parents and the rest of your family? What did they say about this?"             I'm not sure to tell you the truth. My mom was angry when she hung up on me and they apparently aren't talking to me anymore."             "But your dad will…"             "My mom won't let him." I interrupted him. He looked at me stunned. "She's got him under her wing, trust me."             "What happened? I mean, you were so set on Harvard and law. You even broke up with me because of it."             "I know, but I was miserable. I was bored to death with all of my classed and I was barely getting any sleep. My parents kept nagging me about getting good grades so I would be able to get an internship. But it just wasn't me. I couldn't live like that for the rest of my life. I kept replaying the last question you asked me before I left in August, and it made me realize that they were living their life through me, and that wasn't okay with me. It kind of disgusted me actually. So, I followed my heart, which lead me here."             He took my hand in his and stared into my eyes. "I love you."             "I love you too."       Chapter 5: Reunion               Unlike Harvard, I was having the time of my life at the University of Hawaii. I was pulling straight A's and was working at the Trilogy on school breaks. Keith told his family about the situation and made me feel like I was part of their family.             Even when graduation rolled around, my parents didn't contact me. They still owned the condo in Maui, but they started renting it out to people about two and a half years ago. I didn't really miss my mom because of her lack of care for me. My dad, however, I thought of everyday. I found it depressing that he doesn't have the confidence to stand up to his wife. Oh well, that was his problem I guess.               After graduation, Keith started working full time at the Trilogy and was learning how to run it after he takes over for his dad within the next few years. Once Keith takes over the business, I am going to become the event planner. I will be in charge of planning the trips, keeping track of who is on the guest list, and what types of food will be served on the trips. On the weekends, I work at the aquarium taking care of the dolphins and sea turtles. If I had stayed with my original life plan, I would be sitting behind a desk in a black suit with uncomfortable shoes. Overall, I would be miserable, alone, and without Keith.             On our five year anniversary, Keith took me to a romantic dinner at Kimo's where we sat on the water and watched the sunset. After dinner, we walked along the beach with the waves gently flowing over our feet. Before we turned around to head back towards the flight of seven steps, Keith stopped and stepped around to the front of me and faced me directly. He took my hands in his and knelt down onto one knee, and he asked me the four words I have always dreamed of him asking.             "Will you marry me?"             "Yes!" I jumped up and he kissed me. We walked back to the car shortly after. As we walked, he held my hand with the diamond engagement ring on my finger.                    The eight months before the wedding flew by. I was bust everyday with wedding details, but before I knew it, I was in my white wedding dress waiting for the ceremony to start.             "Janie?" Someone said behind me. I had no idea who he was, but his voice sounded somewhat familiar. I turned around. "Hi, sweetheart."             I stood as still as a statue. "Daddy?"             "I'm so sorry, kiddo. You look beautiful." I was still in shock. "Your mom is here too. She's sitting up in the front."             "This probably wasn't her type of wedding either-outside on a beach."              "No, but when I threatened a divorce, she snapped right out of it." I was amazed. I was beyond proud of him for finally finding his voice and using it.             "But how did you know about today?"             "Keith." I looked behind me at my future husband. "He called me and asked for my permission and blessing to marry you."             "He did?"             "Yea. He knew how much you wanted me to be a part of this." I stood staring at him for a few moments.              "Hey." I gave him a long hug and started tearing up. "Daddy?" I asked pulling away.             "What kiddo?"             "Will you give me away?" The tears spilled out of my eyes. Water proof make-up works wonders at moments like this.              "Yes" He said choking up and nodding his head. "Of course I will."             Before I knew it, the music began to play and the bride's maids made their way down the aisle one by one. Shortly after, I began my walk down the aisle towards Keith with my Dad's arm linked around mine.